Compartmentalizing

Being utterly and completely obsessed over three things instead of just two is quite new for me!

When I became a young (well youngish) mom with a thriving business, this was nothing I'd ever expected.  If I'm being honest, I think I'd have contented myself very nicely being wife and mother exclusively.  Still, I'm quite taken with the amazing journey life has bestowed on me.  I know I've been so Pollyanna up to this point that maybe nobody would care to read the life of someone so utterly optimistic.  Bear with me. I have to say, when my baby was born and my business was thriving, I felt COMPLETELY fulfilled.  Now, before you throw a pie at me...please imagine if you haven't already experienced it what it is LIKE, to be COMPLETELY FULFILLED....ALL THE TIME!  Not a moment to feel longing or interest in anything very intellectual.  Never searching gayly about for something interesting to do.  Or maybe someONE interesting...  haaa no.  But I'd me amiss not to suggest that while being single was tough, the possibility and hope of a new love entering your life was really fun.  Not something on the table when you are happily married, but up to your elbows in newborn diapers. ;)

I ever found myself with a free moment...I'd use it to sleep.  That was HARD!  But, yes, completely fulfilling in every uphill moment.  I'm not sure I'd change any of it...I'm not sure I could.  I was the only one able to really feed my little one for the first nine months, so I was pretty well reigned in...and I did it all typing away at the computer building what is on it's way to being a million dollar business!  Hooray for Dolly Couture.  It was a whirlwind and learning to multitask was not easy for me.  The fact that I have attention problems is a secret to nobody.

So now Tyler is in his little school much of the day, and I've indulged in this wonderfully selfish activity, signing up and training for a sprint triathlon. Hopefully, this will leave me to be healthier and stronger.  Hopefully, I'll be an all around better mom and clear my mind for the summer to come back full-force with lots of new dresses and ideas in the fall.  I worry while I'm training that work will take me away from my son when he comes home from his little preschool. While I work, I worry that my training is taking me away from work and that I'm leaving too much responsibility on the shoulders of my associates.  When I'm with Tyler and his Daddy I'm pretty good at being there, but I still sneak over to my computer to browse phrases like "Can you do sidestroke in a triathlon," "do I need a new bike for my first triathlon,"  "what is the worst time anyone ever got in a triathlon?".

My son doesn't want to get out of diapers even though he knows how to do everything and how it works.  I was thinking that if I were more focused I'd be able to take more time to work on this with him.  I feel that it is best not to push him, on the other hand I wonder if that is an excuse for not wanting to do the work.

So I think I need to compartmentalize!!!  I had one woman friend who put aside time in her day JUST for worrying!  She only had to worry twenty minutes a day and the rest of her day was free because she knew she could worry later.  I don't think that's a half bad idea!  A little personal inventory?  hmmm.  Anyway, I haven't figured out how to compartmentalize.  I know men do it a lot.  I like to let my day go the way it goes, but since I have three such precious things I'm working on...I need to let my training be an hour of my day...another half hour to blog or research and then be at work when I'm working and with family when I'm with family being an all-important mommy.  I hope that by taking on a physical challenge, this will help little Tyler learn perseverance and sportsmanship along with balance in life.  Here's HOPING!  I'd really way rather screw up some race than anything else meaningful in my life.  I feel this is a good thing, but I need to keep it at bay.  After my husband and little baby, other family and closest friends...those brides who are getting married in our dresses are most dear to me.  

So I'm going to train hard but force myself to be willing to put that aside whenever I need to.  Nice that it wont be because I want to.  I read somewhere on one of these triathlete websites "a day without sweat is like a day without sunshine."  I'd have balked at that until about two weeks ago! 

Hooray for a busy life!